Ebb and Flow

I don't know how long I can go
I sputter for breath at each ebb and flow
I don't know how long I can go.

My arms and legs tire, beating for life
I don't know how long I can muddle in this stife
My arms and legs tire, beating for life.

I don't know how long I can go
This charade is ending and thus is the show
I don't know how long I can go.

Please listen close to the cries that I make
I know not how long I can make this mistake
Please listen close to the cries that I make.



These are the mere utterances of a lunatic

What I want for Christmas

I don't really know why I didn't think of this sooner...Duh, santa must have a blog spot. So If Santa is real and you are out there, then please send me these things, or at least some of these things, for christmas

1 new parents... the old ones didn't do what they were supposed to, but nice try.

2 new mind...mine overheats to quickly and i can't seem to keep it going, but nice try.

3 new temper... I lost mine the other day...sorry

4 new time...I seemed to have thrown my old time out by accident...sorry

5 new grandma...I seemed to forget where I put the last one...again sorry

6 new faith...the old one couldn't stand up straight anymore...but nice try

7 new shoes...i gave the other ones to someone to walk in...they haven't come back...sorry

8 new bed...I made the old one, but now I don't wanna sleep in it...sorry.

9 new heart...the old one seemed to get cold to quick...but nice try.

10 new sheet of paper...the old one was filled with complaints...sorry



these are the mere utterances of a lunatic

A sub-conscience thought

Why must these drops of insecurity keep falling on my forehead?
Was it nature or nurture that I was mislead

Why must these doubts keep questioning me
Was it something I said, that made you seek shelter from me

What is it about me that I don't understand
Is it my eye, my feet or my shaking hand

Why is it that after all the time past,
I can't trust you on making this last

What if for one time, it is you and not me
If it is something you did that proves YOU abondened me

What if for once you imagine my life,
not all roses, but full of hatred and srife

What if only this time, you let me be mad
for maybe after all the choice was there for you to be had.

What if I sat here in my room so late
would you know or understand my dreary fate

With this in my mind and nowhere near yours
Please let me be mad, and dry up my skin whence the tears they pours



these are the mere utterances of a lunatic

The fear that bounds me in

If I could no longer remember the scent of your skin,
or after our kisses, the redness of your chin,

If I could no longer recall the touch of your cheek,
or the sooth of your voice, when to me you speak,

If I could no longer imagine the world without you,
or the way people feel from the nice things you do,

If all these things were to happen today,
the room in my chest would remain in dismay.

If these fears come to pass and all happen to me,
I'd be breathless and lifeless, like thai without chi



these are the mere utterances of a lunatic

The thoughts of a mime

If asked what day it is, can I say Tuesday
If asked what how I feel, can I say just Okay

If I put on these white cloves, can I say nothing at all
If I crawl into this box, can I can I pretend that I'm still small

If you knock on these clear walls, do I have to come out
If you open the lid of this mimes head, do I have to share my doubt

This rope I climb with will someday pull me somewhere
Where I don't know and to whom I don't dare say.

So it will be in here that I sit, calm and in doubt
So it is here that the thoughts of this mime seep out

So again the mime is given a voice to speak
So again he takes his chance and bites his cheek

****unkown****



these are the mere utterances of a lunatic